Paris Hilton's Six Degrees of Desperado

With Paris Whitney Hilton's recent release from jail, my thoughts turn to what led her there in the first place. Psychologists may blame it all on something lacking in her childhood education, or possibly an irresistable personal urge to self-destruct. Still others blame it on her being blonde.

I blame the entire experience on the "Six Degrees of Desperado" in her bloodline...

Paris' great-grandmother, Mary Adelaide Barron, who married Conrad Nicholson Hilton (of Hilton Hotel fame) may have passed along a not-so-law-abiding genetic heritage. For example, did you know that Paris Hilton is....

--- a fifth cousin 4 times removed from Jesse and Frank James, the notorious armed bank and stage robbers

--- a sixth cousin 6 times removed from Edward "Ned" Kelly, reportedly "the most famous Australian cattle rustler and bank robber of the 19th century"

--- a seventh cousin 4 times removed from John Wesley Hardin, an outlaw and gunfighter in Texas. He was reported to be "the meanest man alive, once killing a man just for snoring."

--- a sixth cousin 7 times removed from Tom "Black Jack" Ketchum, mainly a train robber and member of the infamous "Hole-In-The-Wall" Gang

Well, now I must admit, not ALL of Paris' cousins are stage coach chasers, cow wranglers and desperados. She is also distantly related to several former United States presidents and their wives, famous writers, poets, activists and the like. But don't you agree it is much more fun to rattle those skeletons that are hanging in her closet next to the designer gowns?

And as long as I'm pointing fingers, I'll have to fess up that Paris Hilton and I share a few cousins, and so indeed we are cousins ourselves. Her notorious Tom Ketchum is also my 5th cousin 5 times removed.

In addition Paris Hilton and I mutually share distant cousinship with Katharine Hepburn (American actress), Eugene Delacroix (French artist), Jane Austen (English author), and Nathaniel Hawthorne (American author).

I think that Mae West, Paris Hilton's 8th cousin 3 times removed, would have given her the following sound advice for the future: "A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up."

Janice

PS: The family relationships reported above are true, as abstracted from Ancestry.com's "Find Famous Relatives" beta search, based on Paris Hilton's family tree through her paternal great-grandmother. The photograph shows, left to right, top row: John Wesley Hardin, Jesse James, Edward "Ned" Kelly; bottom row, Frank James, Paris Hilton, Tom "Black Jack" Ketchum.

Disclaimer: This article is my opinion, and was written entirely for fun, and not to implicate or indicate in any way that Paris Hilton is or will become a criminal. Also, Paris Hilton does not really have a moustache, as shown in the photograph above.